Darkness

I love this flower image. It shows that out of something |”seemingly” dark and dead comes something beautiful and very much alive. Listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen these days , from his earliest stuff right up to today. Its kind of like being able to go and visit an old relative and listen to their life stories and learnings anytime I want. I typically listen when I’m driving. Of course his lyrics are up to interpretation , which makes it all the more interesting because I think about what he means, but at the same time it generates feelings and thoughts . His lyrics are so richly textured that they really encourage me to think and feel emotions. He’s really been a great therapist for me. At times I think maybe I should not listen to a certain song in that it might send me into a depression , but that awareness itself is enough to keep me out of the darkness for too long, I go in for a taste, understand that its OK and come back out.

I guess I like him because he seems to me to be a realist. He talks about humanity and lack of it in “The Future”. In recent interviews He talks openly about his struggles with depression all throughout his life . Tha reinforces my belief that mental illness can be also seen as an opportunity to view and experience life in a rich way that only one who has experienced depression can understand. The greatest artists of our time have all experienced mental illness , Van Gogh, Mozart, Da Vinci, a list too long to mention. My intuitive belief is that it goes far beyond a chemical-hormonal imbalance, its about being so emotional and sometimes feeling so much emotion , that you just cant express it enough , or that you can’t relate it to another so you do it through your craft or gift, but when thats not enough you go very far inward to a place that only we who know that hole can describe.

I find myself going there at this time of year, but now I come back out. For that I’m grateful because when I stay there just long enough, I grow , and when I come back out I grow again and I see the light very differently each time.
I want to make sure I don’t read this blog before I post it because I shouldn’t need to correct my thought. It is what it is and its mine.
Heres the lyrics from one of Leonards new songs being released Jan 31 from an album called Old Ideas. I think hes talking about depression here in a way that I totally relate to.
title=”Darkness”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkWMqs67Lhw&feature=related
“The Darkness”

I caught the darkness,
It was drinking from your cup.
I caught the darkness,
Drinking from your cup.
I said is this contagious?
You said just drink it up.

I got no future,
I know my days are few.
The presence not that pleasant,
Just a lot of things to do.
I thought the past would last me
But the darkness got that too.

I should’ve seen it coming
It was right behind your eyes.
You were young and it was summer
I just had to take a dive.

Winin’ you was easy, but darkness was the price.

I don’t smoke no cigarette, I don’t drink no alcohol
I ain’t had much loving yet
But that’s always been your call.
Hey I don’t miss it baby
I got no taste for anything at all

I used to love the rainbow
And I used to love the view.
Another early morning, I’d pretend that it was you.
But I caught the darkness baby
And I got it worse than you.

I caught the darkness,
It was drinking from your cup.
I caught the darkness,
Drinking from your cup.
I said is this contagious?
You said just drink it up.

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One thought on “Darkness

  1. Ironic to read at this time, when I realized yesterday I was feeling different about things I normally love to do. I know fatigue can be a factor but catch myself when I start to lose motivation, joi de vivre, with our family history I am always aware of the risk of depression being there. Got up the hill today and grateful for it! Always mindful
    Thanks for not reading it over before posting.

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